For those of you who have been following my weekly weigh in, I’m sorry I haven’t posted for a couple weeks. You really haven’t missed much. Well, besides some tears, temper tantrums and curse words. It has been frustrating, to say the least. Constant failure is exhausting.
The girls in my office are kicking ass on Weight Watchers and over the past six weeks I have gained 2 pounds. I have struggled my entire life with my weight. I silently suffered from eating disorders in high school. I was either starving or purging, always mixed in with a lot of exercise too. I would bring food in my room so no one saw me eat. If I ate out anywhere, I didn’t eat much. If I did overeat, I sometimes made myself sick or I just made up for it by not eating for a while and pushing myself extra hard at the gym.
Now many years later, here I am. Still with the same struggle. Except now I eat. I tend to binge but not purge. Bad combination if you’re looking to lose weight, by the way. Honestly, I still fight the urge to this day. And if I didn’t feel like crap most of the time, I might still be doing some ass-kicking at the gym.
After my 6 weeks of constant ups and downs, I decided to try, yet another, weight loss theory. Intermittent Fasting. It’s supposed to increase energy, improve memory and cognitive thinking, reduce insulin resistance, improve heart health, lower the risk of diabetes and improve immunity. I eat from 12-8 every day and I use the Weight Watcher point system to make sure I don’t go off the deep end and overeat.
I thought I would be super hungry and light-headed in the morning, but it hasn’t been so bad. I’m not as hungry as I thought I’d be and I don’t feel weird at all. Sure there are some days I’m more hungry than others, but I just keep chugging water and it helps. I had stopped weighing myself after week 3 and took some measurements. But today I did weigh in. I’ll know better how this is working after another weekly weigh in on week 7. I’m keeping my fingers crossed eating this way will be the magic answer.
No one knows your body better than you!
I felt it was also time to see the doctor. To all you 40-something ladies reading this, I can’t stress to you enough the importance of being your own health advocate. For a long time now, I have felt that my doctor has not listened to me. She has heard my complaints and I have heard “You’re a 40 something year old woman complaining of weight gain, fatigue, irritability, aches and pains. That’s what happens”. For real! That is the response I have gotten. “That’s what happens”. Sorry, but are you fucking kidding me? I’m not buying it!
So I found myself a new doctor. I read her reviews and the reviews of the practice and I made an appointment. She spent over an hour with me, discussing every complaint I have and reviewing my history in detail. She is running a full panel of blood work and in-depth testing of my thyroid. She also referred me to an Endocrinologist and told me we were going to make things better together. She was comforting and positive and didn’t treat me like a 40-something year old woman doomed to be fat, irritable, stressed and unhealthy.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like, if anything, I’m being heard. That I’m not crazy and that there may very well be a reason or reasons for my weight loss failure.
Quitters never win, and winners never quit
So, I promise to stop crying and cursing. Ok, I won’t stop cursing, but I’ll keep posting. I’ve got to say, I heard from some of you asking where my updates were and it was really touching to know that people were there with me and cheering me on.
Have you struggled with weight loss? Are you a 40-something finding that you aren’t being heard? That every complaint is due to your age? Do you have weight loss tips that have worked for you?
I’d love to hear from you. It’s empowering to me and hopefully will help some others out there with similar issues.